Blonde Jokes
These are some of the many blonde jokes I
know. Enjoy! Don't take them personally. I am a blonde as well, I just think they're
funny =))
A blonde was driving in her car on the road. She stopped very suddenly, when she saw a blonde on the road, in a wooden boat, trying to roaw her way accross
the road. She was furious, and shouted 'Its blondes like you who give us blondes a bad name!'. 'If I could swim, I'd go out there, and kick your butt!'
There was a wide river and on each side of the river, there was a blonde. One blonde shouted to the other 'How do I get to the other side?'.
'What do you mean?' said the other, with a confused look on her face. 'You are on the other side!
A brunette was standing at the side of the road, saying '79... 79...79...' over
and over. A blonde heard the brunette from her car and pulled over. She hopped
out of the car and said, 'What're you doing?'. The brunette replied, 'I'm saying
79 over and over again, its really fun, maybe you should try it!' said the brunnette to the blonde. 'I think I will!'
said the blonde. So the blonde stood there, on the side of the road, saying '79...79...79...' 'Hey, this
really is fun!!' she said, delighted. 'You know what's even more fun?' asked the
brunette. 'No, what could be more fun than this?' replied the blonde. 'Standing
in the middle of the road and saying it!' exclaimed the brunnette. The blonde thought about it and decided
that she would try it, and went right into the middle of the road. '79...79...79' she
said, over and over again. A car then hit her and she died.'80...80...80...' said the brunnette
A blonde, redhead, and brunette all died in a car crash together. They reached heaven, and god said 'Hi guys! I'm sick of the old angel and big holy book thing, so I created a new way to see if you're worthy enough to get into heaven.'
I have one hundred men lined up in a row, each man will tell you a joke. If you laugh at one of the jokes, you will go to hell.' the three girls nodded nervously.
First up, there was the redhead. She managed to go 44 jokes without laughing, but at the 45th, just cracked, and burst out laughing.
Next, there was the brunette, who lasted 64 jokes until she just couldn't stand it anymore, and fell on the floor laughing.
Then, there was the blonde. The blonde went through 99 jokes, expressionless, not a single smile. She got to the 100th one, and before the man could even tell his joke, she burst out laughing.
God looked at her, suprised. Why had she suddenly started laughing?
He looked at her and asked her just that. She replied, breathless from all the laughing, 'I just got the first one!' and went into another fit of giggles.
A blonde was driving at double the legal speed on the road, and was swerving to
each side of the road. Soon, a police car started chasing her, and she pulled
over. 'Why are you driving so recklessly?' he asked. 'Well, you see, Police officer,
no matter where I go, there is always a tree in front of me. Look! There it is!'
She pointed in front of her. The police looked where she was pointing, and simply
said, 'Lady, that's your air freshener.'
A blonde, a red head, and a brunette, were all working at an expensive makeup store. When it was time to take their lunch break, the brunette complained, 'Ugh! I have a cheese sand which! If I get a cheese sand which tomorrow, I am going to jump off the high rise over there, and kill my self.' The red head then complained 'Eew. I got a salad sand which! Yuck! If I get a salad sand which tomorrow, I'm going to jump off that high rise over there and kill myself.' The blonde to, has her share of complaints. 'Oh YUCK! I have a peanut butter sand which! If I get one of these tomorrow, I'm going to jump off that building over there, and kill myself.'
The next day, each girl got the sand which which would result in there death. So they all died that day. At the funeral, the brunettes mum went up, lip quivering, eyes watering, and said 'I... didn't know... that she didn't like cheese sandwiches...' then went back to her seat, sobbing. The red heads mum went up. 'If only she had... told me... I wouldn't have made it... I wouldn't...' then went back to her seat, crying. The blondes mum went up the front and simply said 'She made her own sandwhiches.' then went back to her seat.
A blonde, redhead, and a brunette were all stuck on a deserted island. It was about 10 km to civilization.The red hed got sick of the island within a few days and said 'Oh stuff it! Im going to swim to civilization! I dont care if I die trying, anythings better than this.' So, out she swam. She made it 2km, then got to tired to swim on, so drowned. The brunette did the same as her, and swam. She ended uop swimming 5 km and then got to tired to go on, and drowned. The blonde decided she would try, and swam a whole nine km! Then, she thought 'Oh my goodness, Im so tired!' so she swam back.
